Information
for men who are abusive or violent to their partner or ex-partner
Have you abused your partner or
ex-partner in any of the following ways?:
Physical abuse:
Hit, pushed,
grabbed, slapped, punched, kicked, choked, pulled hair, thrown things.
Threats and
intimidation:
Threats to harm
your partner or her friends, punching walls or doors and smashing
things.
Sexual abuse:
Forcing sex or specific sexual acts, pressuring her for sex, sulking or
punishing her for not giving you sexual favours.
Jealousy or
isolating behaviour:
Trying to
control who she sees, checking up on her, stopping her from seeing
particular friends or family.
Emotional abuse:
Constant
criticism and put-downs, humiliation, laughing at her, ignoring her.
Using kids:
Threatening to
hurt the children, saying she won't see the kids if she leaves you,
putting her down in front of the children.
Financial abuse:
Controlling her
money, making her feel like she has to beg for things,
- If you have used any
of these behaviours towards a partner, you are being abusive.
- No matter how angry
you feel it is never all right to scare or hurt your partner.
- If you want to stop,
TRYangles Violence Prevention Programme can help you change.
Who is the Violence
Prevention Programme for?
Any man who
wants to end his abusive behaviour towards a female partner or
ex-partner. TRYangle welcomes men of all ethnic groups, ages, class,
religions and abilities or disabilities.
How
Do I Get An Appointment?
You
can contact TRYangle yourself. We will take your details and send you an
information pack. There may be a waiting list but as soon as a place
becomes available we will contact you to arrange a first interview.
About the Women's
Support Service
The Women's
Support Service will contact your (ex)-partner after you have been
referred to TRYangle. The Women's Support Service will offer her
information on the programme and help her focus on her own needs. This
is separate from your programme which is there to help you change.
First
Interviews
These
are between one and four meetings with a member of the project's staff
to assess what changes you wish to make and whether the group programme
is suitable for you.
What
happens on the group programme?
We work mainly in small groups. The groups are held in the evening, with
groups starting at 7pm, meeting weekly.
Stage One
The first stage
of the programme will focus on ending physical abuse. The programme will
help you to take responsibility for your own actions and have control
over your own life. Once you have stopped your violence for around three
months you will move on to the next part of the programme.
Stage Two
Building a
respectful relationship is not only about ending your violence but
ending the other behaviours you used to control your partner.
It takes 32 sessions to
complete stage one and two. Men who complete the programme can join the
fortnightly follow-up group to support you in maintaining the changes
you have already made
How
do I get help?
- Phone us on 020 8855 7564
- Email us at mvip@tryangle.org.uk
Write to us at The TRYangle Project, Trinity Youth Centre,
Burrage Road, Plumstead, London, SE18 7JW
You may be telling
yourself:
- It will never happen
again
How many times have you
said this? Do something before the next time
- It's not me, she
pushes me too far
Only you can take
control over your own behaviour and learn not to be violent or abusive
whatever the situation
- I can't help it, I
just lose control
You can choose to
change and stop being violent and abusive. Do you want to?
How bad will it need to
get before you do something? Contact TRYangle now!
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